scribbles

my journey begins
here
i start at your eyes
and
rest delicately on your lash
feeling their fluttery wings as they kiss my cheek
i then slide
slowly
slowly
slowly
across your jaw
silky
smooth
i must tread carefully
for i may drown, in the un rippled chocolate

follow me.

the crescent of your lip
is tauntingly delicious
but i refuse the chase
instead
i trace you further to the curve of your neck
where the shadow creates soft dark maps
of places only i know
to touch
they are places where my breath
dances sleepily on your skin
making you quiver

breathe in…
breathe out…

clenched fist.

from there i travel south
to your chest where i sleep
my pillow beats a steady gentle lullaby
mingled with drowsy rhythmic breaths
these are the sounds i sleep to
comfort
that comes from
familiarity
it curls up, warm, content

i tiptoe towards your stomach
as to not wake you
the lines there are etched carefully, slightly
i trace them
they tell your story
i read your lines with
my fingers
just quietly, lazily
stroking the russet edges
and there i know you

through

un raveling
un tangling
un wrapping
un dressing

i discover
you
and in that

i discover
me

don’t leave yet

for, you take my breath with you

just stay still so i may stare

the dappled sunlight has still caught

you in it’s arms

touch me now

and we shall burn

 

i want to watch this dream

with eyes wide open

run my hand through

to make sure you’re still there

 

what we’ve left outside

we don’t know

shadowy blue hides us for a while

and where we meet

we melt

a flame that fuses

you and i

 

and then we’re on fire

flushed reds

and hot pinks

dance across your cheek

and live at your lips

 

and your kiss is then scalding

leaving my lips burning

still wanting more.

take my hand

dissolve into me

and now we are no more part of this world

we exist only because of each other

there is no one else to make us real

though your eyes follow, and

sprinkle me crimson

don’t let me out of your sight

this addiction has not yet

found the taste

of

satiation

on it’s tongue

 

this is the day i used to hope would never come

the last page of a book

i’m not ready to put on the shelf

i can’t go back to the beginning

or the words will unwrite themselves

but i can’t move past

this full stop

you’ve placed upon our story

this is the place i’ve come to fear the most

the time

when i turn the page

 and there will be words

of which

i am no longer the writer.

our footprints stretch on far behind us,

and circle heavily where we stand now.

the ocean comes to kiss the shore,

but we’re not ready to get lost in that embrace.

our strides in tandem,

are now our baby steps                seperate

which will take us in to what lies ahead

though we step so gingerly now

everything is new, this path unknown.

we won’t come back full circle

we’ll keep on going

till we walk in to the sea.

and how did we end up this way?

we put our dreams in a box

and let them fade away

we’ve patched up nicely

don’t you think?

and wrapped the bandage around our wound

our skin has healed over

but don’t you know that

this wound

goes

deeper

 

but what does it matter?

do we really give a shit?

i know if i didn’t, i wouldn’t be writing this

because when you come back to me

i am scared

i’m fumbling around

trying to find the key

that will let us in

into the past

where we once were

us

 

but then i see you

and the keys don’t seem to fit

and the bandages peel away

raw, tentative

stripped.

 

and so you turn me upside down

so the snowflakes that lay asleep

twirl in crazy circles

intoxicated

i wait for the flecks to settle

to quietly fall back to sleep

yet they continue

to spin

making the butterflies dance in my stomach

stop giving them wings

you’re not meant to make me feel

this way…

 

Feeling
I miss the feeling of going to sleep after saying good night to you. Knowing as I lie there, I’m thinking of you, you’re thinking of me.
I miss the feeling of going into a room knowing I’m the only one you’re looking at. Knowing your eyes are following me wherever I step.
I miss the feeling of tingles when I look into your eyes. Knowing that I can say everything by the meeting of our eyes.
I miss te feeling of security when you encase me in your arms. I miss the feeling of familiarity when I have your scent on my shirt and your warmth against my skin.
But most of all
I miss the feeling of you
Making me feel
This way

More

I know you’re there
Under the same sky
Watching the same stars
Dreaming the same dreams
You can see what I see, feel what I feel
Yet it is not enough
I want more.

I know you’ll always be there
Or so you say
Always there to talk
But words are no substitute for voices, for feelings, for caresses
It is not enough
Want more.

I know you say we’ll always be friends
Friends who talk
Friends who listen
Yet I must share you
And thats the part I hate the most
Friends.
Is not enough
More.

where I end and you begin

where I end and you begin
can you find it?
but where our lips meet
and our breath mingles
where are the lines
that divide
you
and
me

the caramel drips in
and the milky coffee washes over
and all at once we are swirling
and I don’t see you
I don’t see me
I see us
swirling

but ofcourse
everything must become memories
which I may only remember
and never re-live

because now is when
we end
and
I
begin

untitled

 

once there was a time
when you used to stop and stare
now i’ve got a smile that’s barely even there

what’s changed now?
what have we done?
destroyed something that’s not begun?

they say,
you don’t know what you’ve got till its gone
but did i ever have you?
maybe, but not for long

we’re pushing away
how far can we go?
strangers on a street, waving hello?

will you become a memory?
just a face in the crowd
or will you be by my side forever..
starting now.

 

live a little

 

amidst the frantic running circles,
through the crowds of screaming thought
i want to stop.
breathe, and take a look around.
live a little
laugh a lot
taste it
take it all in at once
let life roll off my tongue
savoring, relishing till I squeeze out the last drops
feelings, pulsating and alive
a chance to run my fingers through the living
hear a smile, touch the voices and grasp the fleeting dawn
pour in the tears, drip the kisses and spread the exhilaration all over
i want to feel the tingles
the rushes
wash over me
and shield the flickering candles
so when my time is over
and the end is near
when i can’t feel the tingles
or catch the raindrops on my tongue
only a myriad of memories
floating, flowing, swirling
and as i drift away
i can lie down and smile
for i have run my fingers through the living
lived a little
laughed a lot

escape

 

i want to capture this moment

cradle it in my hands

and softly pour it where no one else may reach it

i want it to drown me

on days when i forget

and hope it will keep me afloat

on the days when i want to sink

sink                 

because i can’t forget

and float because i shouldn’t forget

 

but would you forgive me if i do

if the moments that we’ve sealed

are left behind

as i turn to run the other way

blur

the days that go by
can you see them blend?
where did yesterday end and when did today begin
sunset, sunrise the orange is all a blur

here is now
but then where are you?
there are no highs
no lows
but everything in between

i can’t feel that love sick feeling
i’m getting dizzy from being still
now
the blood runs too smoothly through my veins
in quiet linear streams

these days i breathe too easily
the rushes don’t come and go
i want to be submerged in the agony of love
so i may be acquainted with the exhilaration too

my thirst

 

pour yourself all over me

so the drops trickle

down to my mouth

whetting every part of my body

so i can taste you

feel you

all over me

i want you to stain my skin

so i know you’ve been here

just your waves washing over me

makes my hair dance

dreamily around my face

i’m thirsty for you

drip yourself down my throat

so your being cascades down me

and let me drink in the liquid of your eyes

but i’m scared

for the time

when

you stop flowing

and i have no thirst for you

and you have no trickles to give me

the gift

 

i’m still wrapped in you

our memories are folded

in every part of me

and your kisses

are the ribbons tying me together

 

how is it that you’re there

and i’m here

and yet you have every piece of my heart

its because your arms are still around me

please don’t let me go

 

because even thought i can’t have you now

just knowing that it happened

is enough

and truth be told,

i can’t let go

because i do love

that you’re still holding on to me

sounds to write to

 

and it was just putting pen to paper,

that was the hardest.

but its because i want to be good,

sometimes for me,

and sometimes for you.

                

but the words don’t come easily,

and my write hand trembles,

the pen in my hand, so unfamiliar

an attachment

not an extension

 

because i don’t like to disappoint

the ink doesn’t kiss the lines on the page

and the words don’t dance

because there is no music

to my thoughts

 

but then there you are

the symphony that floods my head

 then all i can do is listen

i’m drunk on your rhythm

please give me more.

 

because my thoughts can  hear you now

and my words do the tango across the page

and the ink stains the paper

like smeared lipstick on lips

that have been kissed